Fie Eoin Friday: Apollo’s New First Scene!

Apollo and Daphne, Gian Lorenzo Bernini.

Apollo and Daphne, Gian Lorenzo Bernini.

It’s been a couple weeks since we’ve had a Fie Eoin Friday on the blog, and since we saw Daphne’s POV last time, I thought today I’d give you Apollo’s POV. This is the new version of the first scene of Apollo and Daphne. Enjoy!

Apollo would never outrun the ghost of Hyacinth. She was in the photographs on his nightstand when he woke in the morning. In the smell of her shampoo that still lingered in his car. In the face of every dark-haired girl he caught a glimpse of. He would never escape the memory of what he’d done.

His feet pounded the ground as he ran. Sweat beaded on his forehead and ran down his nose, dropping to the damp leaves of the cross country course. He focused on his breath, on the rhythmic beating of his feet, on the red and gold jersey of his best friend, Hermes, who ran ahead of him. He focused on the heartbeat thundering in his chest.

Hyacinth’s heart had stopped by the time Apollo got to her.

A twig cracked under his foot, but instead he heard the dull crack of her head as the discus hit her temple. Saw the expression on her face as she fell. The doctors said she was dead before she hit the ground. Dead as she stared at him and fell.

Apollo growled and his feet picked up the rhythm of his new heartbeat. Angry, thundering. He was going to outrun his guilt today. Run faster than the ghost of Hyacinth.

“Too soon, man,” Hermes said between breaths as Apollo passed him.

Apollo ignored him and kept his pace. He wouldn’t tire today. He would burn up the hot regret running through his veins. Burn it up until there was nothing left and he was empty. As empty as Hyacinth’s eyes as she fell.

The sound of Hermes feet behind him changed, and soon he was inching up on Apollo. Hermes had always been the faster runner, ever since they were little, but today Apollo wanted to win. Today he would win.

Hermes matched his pace, breath harsher than before, and when he began to pull ahead near the end Apollo called up all of his guilt and shame and anger and ran, as fast as he could, and broke out of the trees ahead of his friend.

Apollo crossed the finish line a single step ahead.

April is a Bitch, and so is Daphne.

Bou's got the right idea. Sleep through April.

Bou’s got the right idea. Sleep through April.

Aledans, I’m sure if you’ve seen me around the internet at all this week you know April and I have nearly come to blows. If you haven’t seen me around the internet at all this week it’s because April and I have nearly come to blows. Let’s agree that April Fool’s Day should never fall on a Monday again. It’s just not fair (hear that calendar-makers? Act accordingly).

Camp NaNo started out a miserable failure, until I realized I was trying to do something completely unnecessary. Nameless needed so many complete re-writes that I assumed Apollo would too. I’ve read through it a number of times and Sandhya (ie. Adriana Ryan, who has unveiled herself to the world!) read through it, and you know what? I think it just needs a fairly big edit. I don’t think everything has to be scraped and re-written.

There are some really, really good parts already, and I learned a lot about writing before I wrote the first draft. In this draft I have to cut some scenes, tighten some others, punch up the tension, and make Daphne more sympathetic. That last one is the part I’m still having troubles with, but I started writing the scene where Daphne meets Apollo from her POV, and it’s helping me get into her head and figure out why she is the way she is. Because I know she comes across as a bit of a bitch. And he falls in love with her despite that.

In fact, since today is technically Fie Eoin Friday why don’t I give you a little taste? It’s not the full scene, and it’s not edited because it’s not actually going to be part of the book, but have some Daphne:

~~~~~

Senior Year. Daphne couldn’t wait to get out of the hell-hole that was Olympia High School and across the country to NYU. Assuming they accepted her, of course. Even if they didn’t she planned to jump ship and move as far away as possible. She was over the cliques, the constant supervision, and most of all the asshole boys.

Speaking of asshole boys, Homeroom was suddenly inundated with the King of the Douchebags—Eros Phanes. Daphne was really hoping she wouldn’t have to see his fat face this year.

“Far-shooter!” He yelled, but for once his taunting voice wasn’t directed at her. “Did you get lost on the way to school this morning, Shooter? You belong at Capital.”

A tall, handsome boy in the front row cringed. He had short, dark hair just beginning to curl at the ends like it needed to be cut, and clothes that were a little worn around the hems. Clean and pressed, but worn. Daphne was pretty sure he was on the cross country team with her and won last weekend’s match against Capital.

Whoever he was, he’d incurred Eros’ wrath, which automatically made him her ally.

“I’m not lost,” the boy said. “I transferred.” His voice was a nice, even baritone.

Eros sat in the desk next to him. “Finally got sick of those loser Cougars, huh? Decided to be a Bear?”

The boy ignored Eros, but his hands folded into fists as if he couldn’t wait to punch that chubby face. Daphne liked him already.

“So what’s with the move, Shooter?”

The boy’s whole body seemed to tense, and Daphne walked over—she was better prepared to deal with Eros than this new kid.

She dropped her books on Eros’ desk with a loud bang. “You’re in my seat.”

He looked up, surprised. “I don’t see your name on it.”

She leaned into his face and scowled. “Out. Now.”

His jaw set and he sneered, but stood. She stared at him as he moved a row back and sat behind the new kid. She jerked her head a tiny bit—a warning. Whoever this new kid was, woe be to Eros if he tried to hurt him. If Daphne could help it Eros wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again.

~~~~~

Of course Eros does hurt them both, again and again.

Have a good weekend, Aledans. And if you feel the need to throw down the gauntlet with April give me a call: I’ll be your backup.

A Relaxing Weekend of Wine and Books

BeckaWineIt’s #PitMad day over on Twitter, Aledans! I’ll be tweeting my pitch throughout the day, as well as RTing some of my favorite pitches on the hashtag. So if you’re following me on Twitter, be prepared for an onslaught of Pitch Madness ;)

That should make up for not tweeting much this past week. The weekend was crazy awesome – full of dirty jokes and Flight of the Conchords. I was a little worried it had been so long since I saw my best friend that things would have changed, but it was just the same as ever. And now she’s looking at jobs in Charleston so she’ll be around all the time! I’m going to need a lye brain rinse if she moves here. I already feel so dirty.

I’m gearing up for Camp NaNo to start on Monday. I’ve got my playlist ready and have to look up a couple things in Olympia, Washington, but I’m pretty much ready to bust out the second draft of this bad boy. I’ll be setting aside my critiques and Custom of the Week for April, but the new Science Tuesday posts will still go up, and I’ll let you know my progress on Thursdays like normal (yes, I know today is Friday – I’m completely off this week).

This weekend, however, is all about relaxing! After last weekend’s whirlwind of adventure (and cold rain), I’m ready for a break. And the house is super-clean right now, so it’s going to be all books and wine for me. What does the weekend have in store for you, Aledans?

Fie Eoin Friday: Apollo and Daphne

Apollo and Daphne, Gian Lorenzo Bernini

Apollo and Daphne, Gian Lorenzo Bernini

Happy Friday, Aledans! Or maybe I should start calling you Olympians, since that’s what my next novel is about?

I don’t really feel like talking about last week anymore than I already have on Twitter, so we skipped yesterday’s update. Instead I finally went out for Adult Milkshakes with Adriana Ryan (and have I told you how much I love her? Oh, I have? Let me tell you again. She’s awesome!) and with her help I finally overcame a huge roadblock to the re-write of Apollo. We’ve seen Poe a couple times before, in the Lucky Seven Meme and the Warm Fuzzies Blogfest. And to get into the spirit of re-writing Apollo I’m making today’s FEF all about my favorite boy.

Um, no, not Gar or Monk or Lane. They’re men ;)

~~~~~

The air around Apollo was thick with unspoken questions, and it was Artemis who addressed it first.

“Alright, let’s just lance this thing and clean up the mess. What did Eros tell you?”

“Nothing,” Athena said, looking relieved. “He left as soon as you did. I think he was afraid Apollo was going to come back and punch him.”

“I wish,” Daphne said. “It would have been worth it to watch someone shut him up.”

Apollo kept his eyes straight ahead, not able to look at anyone. He was glad that Artemis agreed to tell them about Hyacinth, because he couldn’t do it himself without crying.

“Ok.” Artemis took a deep breath. “Did you see the news report about the girl at Capitol who was hit with a discus last year?”

“Oh, ow,” Dion said without thinking. Everyone except Apollo turned and glared at him and he blushed. “Sorry.”

“Was she okay?” Daphne asked, although it was clear from her voice that she already knew the answer.

“It hit her in the temple – she died on impact.” Artemis squeezed Apollo’s hand. “Poe threw the discus. It was a complete accident – she shouldn’t have run onto the field until his turn was over.”

“That was the girl on the cross country team, right?” Nike asked. “The really fast petite one?”

Artemis nodded, and Nike reached over to pat Apollo’s shoulder. “Now I know why you freaked out when I asked about her. Sorry, man.”

“Did you know her?” Daphne asked.

“She was my girlfriend,” Apollo whispered and looked at the bleachers below them.

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop: Apollo and Daphne

Apollo and Daphne, Gian Lorenzo Bernini

Hello Aledans! I’ve been tagged by Christine Fonseca for The Next Big Thing Blog Hop, and since I recently did a similar post for Nameless I thought I’d answer the questions for Apollo and Daphne this time. Enjoy!

What is the working title of your book? Apollo and Daphne (exciting, no? ;P)

Where did the idea come from for the book? The song Viva La Vida by Coldplay. I was listening to that song and wondering what happens to a God once they are no longer worshiped. I decided to write a re-telling of the Apollo and Daphne myth, as it’s one of my favorites. You can read more about it here.

What genre does your book fall under? Contemporary YA.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition? Oh gosh, I have no idea. After a quick google search for teen actresses with dark hair, I think Demi Lovato could pull off the Daphne look. As for Apollo…even a quick google search didn’t give me anything that stood out. Hello, the kid is named after a God – you can’t just choose anyone for him.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? Apollo’s trying to outrun the guilt he feels over his girlfriend’s death, but ends up running after Daphne instead.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? I’d like to be represented.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? A month – it was my NaNo 2009 project.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? I’m not sure – I haven’t read a lot of contemporary YA yet. But anything dealing with the death of a girlfriend/boyfriend and the guilt associated with that would be comparable.

Who or What inspired you to write this book? My patron God, Apollo ;)

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? A number of myths play some part in the novel, including Hyacinth (Apollo’s dead girlfriend), Psyche (Eros’ ex-girlfriend), and Niobe (crazy). Also? Zeus is the governor of Washington State :P

Update #3

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for another exciting update on my crazy life goals! Last week I was shooting for the following:

Yoga! And work is starting a new Yopilates class next Friday, so definitely join that. Continue not drinking on weekdays, and cut back on the weekends.

Finish reading Crash Into You and Dies Irae. For reals this time ;) Start the second Game of Thrones book so I can have it done by the premier on HBO (find out when the premier is…).

Continue searching for the elusive expert. Actually start the outline. Bug the First Readers if they haven’t responded.

Breathe – the edits on The Nameless Warrior should be coming back any time now. So breathe!

How’d I do? Well, I failed the “cut back on the weekends” part quite spectacularly :) But hey, if you’re going to fail, fail big! And have fun doing it! We had so much fun failing, in fact, that I actually got Hubs to watch Dr Who and like it. This is a huge accomplishment (it also means I get to re-watch Nine, who is my favorite).

I finished reading DIES IRAE (if you missed Christine’s guest post you can find it here) and started reading CLASH OF KINGS. I already like it better than the first Game of Thrones book because I don’t know how it ends (and I have realized I will never read Harry Potter, because I know how it ends. It seemed like such a good idea at the time to watch the movies first). I have about one or two chapters left of CRASH INTO YOU, but I can’t take that one to work, so it was a bit slower.

I also found an expert! A very lovely person over on Google+ gave my info to a friend of her’s who works for a senator in Washington State. My new expert is sending me photos of the buildings so I can nail the setting and sending me lots of info about the page program, so I know exactly what Apollo will be doing when he starts working for his dad. I also remembered that my best friend in high school ran cross country, and he sent me a huge long email about that, reminding me once again why he was my best friend in high school. I am still looking for experts on the local high schools, and a mythology expert.

I started the outline (I’m about halfway done) and storylined through the Hyacinth part of Apollo’s past. I did bug one First Reader, but she hasn’t had a chance to start the book yet, so I must practice patience and bug the other two instead ;)

And yeah, still breathing – still waiting on edits. Now that the Apollo backstory is all finished I’ve been trying to figure out what needs to happen in Pike’s Revenge. Fie Eoin changed so much that the current version of the sequel won’t work without major changes (also, my life has been threatened if I kill Kindra) so I’m trying to figure out something else. I do have an alternate version, but it’s not as exciting and it completely leaves out one of the new POV characters. I’m not ready to kill that darling yet, so I’m seeing what other doors my muse will open. Either way I need the current novel’s edits back first, to make sure there are no other major changes to work on.

For next week:

Try not to fail so spectacularly at the weekend drinking thing, even if Dr Who is involved.

Read read read! And type up edits for Ryan, since I finished reading his chapters over a week ago.

Finally dye the pony for the Custom Pony Contest way back in October and send it on to Kal (sorry Amanda!). First, find out where Hubs put the bag of ponies.

Find more experts. Finish the outline. Bug the First Readers. Storyline a new Pike’s Revenge.

Finally write the query and start the synopsis for The Nameless Warrior. Hope and pray (and possibly sacrifice small animals?) that I get the edits back this week.

That sounds like enough for a busy week, don’t you think? What are your goals this week?

Update #2

Time to update you on how my week’s been (I know Thursdays are a weird day to do this, but they work just as well as any other day) and all the amazing things I’ve accomplished.

Last week’s goals were:

Continue with the yoga, not drinking, and having hot water.

Finish reading Crash Into You and Dies Irae.

Find someone who knows Olympia, Washington, as well as someone who is an expert in the Apollo myths (if you know anyone who qualifies for either please let me know, or point them my way!). Start building a chapter by chapter outline of the novel, and figure out what is the #1 goal in Apollo’s life. Storyline how his parents met, and how things progressed to having a bastard child that daddy wouldn’t claim.

Yoga? Check. Not drinking? Check. Hot Water? Oh baby, check check check! I even managed to be social and go to an oyster roast :) And tonight I’m going to see Jimmy Buffett live! I really hope he sings Coast of Carolina (he should, the concert’s on the coast of Carolina).

I’m still working on Crash Into You (which has been giving me weird dreams) and Dies Irae (did you see yesterday’s post?). I also finished reading and editing the first four chapters of my critter’s book. It was “yank you by the front of the shirt and drag you into a space war” exciting! (I also finished Season One of Dr. Who, and am mourning the loss of Eccleston as the Doctor. God I loved his big ears and grin.)

I also finished storylining Zeus and Leto, and it gave me a much better perspective on Zeus. He’s not as bad as he seemed, but Hera…well, I won’t say anything mean about a Goddess in public ;) I didn’t manage to start the outline, and I’m still looking for an expert on Olympia and mythology. I also think I know which goal is #1 for the novel, but I’m waiting for some feedback from my First Readers before I finalize it.

So, on the plate for next week:

Yoga! And work is starting a new Yopilates class next Friday, so definitely join that. Continue not drinking on weekdays, and cut back on the weekends.

Finish reading Crash Into You and Dies Irae. For reals this time ;) Start the second Game of Thrones book so I can have it done by the premier on HBO (find out when the premier is…).

Continue searching for the elusive expert. Actually start the outline. Bug the First Readers if they haven’t responded.

Breathe – the edits on The Nameless Warrior should be coming back any time now. So breathe!

Oh yeah, and speaking of FE, today is the Festival of Aleda! I’ll definitely put up a FEF tomorrow so you can see what the celebration is like in the Faye land.

*cracks whip* What are your goals for the next week?

Update #1

Time to try something new this week: I’m going to start keeping accountable to my fabulous readers by updating you on what I’m doing/have done for the week (not just writing-wise, but life-wise too). I have a feeling this year is going to be busy, so I’ll probably need someone to get the whip out if I want to get everything done.

And by busy, I mean awesome.

I have to admit, I’m having a pretty damn good year so far. January isn’t even over with and I’ve already started doing yoga twice a week, dropped some fat from my middle (my pants, which were starting to get tight a couple weeks ago, are now fitting normally again) and stopped drinking wine on the weekdays (I have a feeling this is more to do with the dropping fat than the yoga, since I’ve been doing yoga since September :P ).

I’ve read more books in the past two weeks than I did for the last two months of 2011.

I finished The Nameless Warrior (which took me all of last year to re-write… twice) and did my first read-through of Apollo to get ideas for what needs to happen there. I sent it to my First Readers for ideas and feedback, and wrote a list of all of Apollo’s goals for the novel. I’m still trying to figure out which is goal #1, which will then dictate what type of re-writing I need to do (the top three contenders are: “Get dad to notice me (in a positive way)”, “get a scholarship for school”, and “get over the fact that I accidentally killed my girlfriend”. The daddy-issues are definitely the longest, but the scholarship and dead girlfriend guilt are a bit more immediately pressing).

I also bought a new water heater. Yay for hot water!

On the agenda for the next week:

Continue with the yoga, not drinking, and having hot water.

Finish reading Crash Into You and Dies Irae.

Find someone who knows Olympia, Washington, as well as someone who is an expert in the Apollo myths (if you know anyone who qualifies for either please let me know, or point them my way!). Start building a chapter by chapter outline of the novel, and figure out what is the #1 goal in Apollo’s life. Storyline how his parents met, and how things progressed to having a bastard child that daddy wouldn’t claim.

I’d say that’s a pretty reasonable list for next week. Is there anything that you need to be held accountable for next week? I’ll get the whip out >:)

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